It’s safe to say that at some point of our childhood, we’ve experienced something which confused our innocence, or did not feeling comforting. I’m not speaking of the disciplined spanking from big mama, but those tough-to-talk-about topics, including: rape, incest, beatings, being cursed at, witnessing an affair, and more. There are other traumas which may included a death in the family, or taking care of a parent due to illness or drug-abuse. As we grow older, we began to identify the triggers, and lack of clarity from our childhood. In the video below, I’ve consulted with colleague, Stephanie Hodges, and fiance, Ryan Hillis, to discuss their experiences with childhood trauma.
Dr. Kerry Ressler is a psychiatry professor at Harvard Medical School, who says those who experience traumatic events, often times develop post-traumatic stress disorder, which effects 5-10% of the general popultation.
In order to heal from those people, or things that broke you, it’s necessary to move around from those which trigger your thoughts. You can’t heal being around the thing that broke you. Similar to a car without gas, yeah it still works but you can’t get anywhere without it.
My personal experience is, I’ve been making small promises to myself everyday. This gets me in the habit of trusting who I am. I once heard someone say, “You’ll realize that when you break your own promises you can’t get mad at other people breaking promises they made you.”
Tracy Pederson, with the PsychCentral press states, “Once a dysfunctional attachment pattern is formed in childhood, it tends to persist later in life and can cause misperceptions of others’ intentions and beliefs.” I think it’s also hard to be in touch with our feelings. It takes time to be fully cognizant of how we feel, what is harmful to our mental health, and what is we should feed our souls more of. Andrea Brandt, Ph.D M.F.T. wrote in Psycology Today, “When we don’t learn how to feel our feelings, we may start to interpret all emotions as terrifying.” , and I absolutely agree!
So, how can we overcome childhood trauma in our lives? I believe it’s necessary to observe our personal behavior, and the triggers which cause those behaviors. Once identified, we can start to correct our wrongs and break the cycle hurt that we’ve caused, or hurt caused by others. I strongly recommend a form of therapy that is most comfortable for you, or you and those who will go into therapy with you. You can read about different forms of therapy at Psycology Today, and to find a therapist in your area, I highly recommend BetterHelp.com.
Happy Healing! Xo
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